Originally posted in July 2024 in my Linkedin Newsletter “the Juggler” (Subscribe Here)
I would like to cover in this issue of “The Juggler” a central point of my coaching activity: TRUST. One of the foundations of a coach is trusting coachee’s capabilities, skills and motivation to find his/her own solution.
As a coach your role is to support the customer to explore and find his solutions inside him/herself.
At the beginning it seems quite weird as we all know, trust is a feeling you build with time, experience and awareness about the one you have in front of you.
To be a Coach you have to give it “for granted”.. you have to …trust!
I can tell you, after around 500 hours of coaching delivered to over 80 customers, I’m happy to share that all customers I had the privilege to work with, they have found their own solution, confirming what I had to assume at the beginning of this very fascinating experience.
So is it easy like that? We can trust anyone.. as manager, as team member..as human being..
Well, no… is not that easy, but we can try to agree on some touchpoints that can help us to build trust: something that needs our effort, focus and purpose.
I will skip on the importance of trust, on how critical it is in all our interactions (personal and professionals), how we give trust even if we don’t realize it and how trust is key for a manager, team members, and so on..deal?
Explaining, Clarify, set a goal, your expectations.
“No wind blows for a ship Without Direction” this quote from Seneca is focusing on the point: to create trust you have to set a shared goal, to clarify what you’re expecting (from deal, from a task, from an assignment, from a relationship.. you name it.). If you skip this phase, if you “assume” the others have to “perceive what you were meaning”, here we are with the source of the biggest misunderstanding: lack of clarity.
As a Manager as well as employee you have to invest time and purpose to share your expectation and ask for clarification if you have any doubt.
Checking, not controlling.
Trust is not faith, you have to check along the way, it is in your full interest to review the evolution of the task. This is not controlling or micro-management. Like point one, the checking is a matter of an agreed and clear approach and timeline. I.e “let’s meet in a week and we will review the structure of the presentation, deal?”.
It is very important in this phase to “trust” the agreed action plan and timeline. Avoid asking continuously “how it goes?”.
Failure IS an option.
Ok, it is quite provocative. Hear me out! You have to consider failure as a possibility, so you can adjust the project, during (for instance) a review moment. Being open to the possibility of failure (and consequently the possibility to adapt, update , innovate) reduces tension and allows all stakeholders to take the right level of “risks”.
Keep your door open and respect other people’s space.
Clarify that you’re always there to support as well as you expect they will ask for your support if needed. Don’t get mad if it is not happening, be patient.
Show appreciation and provide “radical candor” feedback.
Feedback is a very important way to build trust, it has to be “radical candor”: if something needs to be improved or is not correct, it is in your interest and it is your duty to point at it. Of course separating the what from the who. super
I believe the best way to provide productive feedback is the “radical Candor Way”: “Care personally, Challenge Directly →”. Kind, Clear, Specific and Sincere”
We can deep dive on feedbacks on the next issues of the newsletter.
Acting this way you will help yourself and your team to actively build trust, based on patience, creativity and mutual respect.
What do you think? What would you add to this list of points in order to “plan, design, activate and consolidate trust”?
Let’s open the discussion
See you at the next episode of “the Juggler”
Luciano